Twitter and Retail Fun!

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I love using Twitter at this point, and I have fun after work tweeting the hilarious parts of working retail. It’s one of those subjects I love to hate since it’s something a ton of people relate to. I have been tweeting the funny parts of my job, and as a bonus here is some of the tweets and stories of the past few days.

Tweets:
Is this all you have? Is there more somewhere else? No, that’s all we have, and no we don’t have any in the non existent back…
I didn’t know what to expect when I started working retail, but I’m glad I did since it showed me a side that I’ve never seen before.
#DearCustomer your order comes in when we call you if you did not get a call then it hasn’t come in. #retailproblems
Sir, we did not call you yesterday at all, and it’s still in the lab. #retailproblems

Just put away the keys. Can I C this chain? But I told me you were just looking. #retailproblems
Two people till one my kind of day. #retailproblems….
I was sent on the register twice b/c not enough cashiers at the front. #retailproblems…
Sir, I tried to get help for you b/c yes I didn’t know b/c I don’t work in the area. #retailproblems
C: Gee, you look bored.M: No sir, I’m writing down everything you say and do cause I’m an author. #retailproblems
C: Do you have any rings? Me: No, but we have earrings. C: Well I don’t wear earrings b/c of this reason. Okay, Idc…#retailprobz
Yes, we have the item posted in the ad today and we carry all items in said AD… #retailproblems
Yes, I’m going to smile, but don’t think I’m not thinking of ways to tell you off without losing my job. #retailproblems
Everything is my fault just b/c I work there…#retailproblems
Thanks for yelling at me over something that I can’t control for a department I don’t work @#retailproblems
Sir, can you get to the point so I can transfer you…#retailproblems
Sir, I know what you are talking about we don’t carry it and I was trying 2 help you. #retailproblems
#DearCustomer if you are nice to me I’m more likely to go out of my way for you then if you are rude to me.
Yes, since I work for the company I know everything about all the areas in the store. #retailproblems
Yes, this is all we have no we don’t have it in the back. #retailproblems
No you can’t pay on a layaway from a different store. Go 2 the 1 you put it at. #retailproblems

Twitter is a platform that allows you to use 140 characters, so some words are shortened to allow for more room. I used the hashtags #retailproblems to reach a wider audience for my tweets. A lot of people use it to talk about retail problems and stuff only people who work retail understand and I also use the hashtag #DearCustomer when I want to tell them advice, or talk about what they are doing is wrong. It’s a fun little community, and it allowed me to talk to people and follow others with a like mind. Some of the users I love to follow are: @SWilliamBrown33,@ObservingRetail,@The_Retail_Rant, and @cashier_pain. I follow them because they regularly talk about what a pain it can be to work retail at time, and the things customers do to piss people off. I’m also going to create my own book about the stuff I have experienced while working it so far.
Here is a few stories from the past few days:

It’s been 1-9 both days so seven hour shifts which I don’t mind. I love shorter ones since it means I’m less likely to wish people dead. Saturday was fun. Had a customer tell her daughter to grab me since I’m too fast for her. Apparently, she can’t keep up with me. Good, cause I might have told her that if you grabbed me then I would have to hit you. Then another lady bitching, “I’m so sick of this.” When I was polite in saying excuse me when I took an L cart to the back. I should have hit her with it…No zone on the weekends which is a good thing. I hate it. Some idiot asked over the phone if we had gluten free yogurt then hung up on me before I could give him an answer. The registers blew up just as I got on lunch.

A guy comes in saying he got a call about his order. I don’t remember it so I check the safe and box. It’s not there, and I check the book to see if it’s ready. Still at the lab…No, it’s not there. No, I’m not the one who called it in jackass. Stop being an impatient, lying dick and wait for it to come in. One was a week late because of us having no one. Then idiots wanted me to put in a watch battery, and they ended up saying shit like this person had trouble so the person replaced it. I could not get it on, and it made me glad since she should have shut up to let me do my job. They also had the nerve to ask if there was anyone else that knew how to do it. No, it’s only me so shut up already. Then at the last minute I put the keys away after I asked the guy if he needed help. No, just looking. I put the keys away. Oh, can I see the chain? You asked if I did. I told him I already put the keys away. Oh, never mind then. You should have told me that before…Fuck you dick.

Sunday more people then we did the day before. Spent the first hour on the computer. After that some idiot put an item on the counter, and the bitch on the mobile yelled at me that the person will be back later. Okay, but you didn’t have to be a cunt about it. Then she proceeded to mumble stuff about me as she was in line. The person tossed it on the counter like an asshole what did you expect? The registers were hell, but I was kept off it. Lady on the phone was giving me an attitude on the phone while I was looking up a number. Well, I was making sure you didn’t hang up or get disconnected. That happened the day before actually, a lady said to not hang up on her when she hung up on me first…A lady was a bitch as she asked for a room, and oh so nicely said, “I realize I’m over the limit.” She said with a handful of clothes. I directed her to a room not even wanting to put up a fight. I was done. It was slow after some time, and Wednesday I got yelled at because the guy was having issues transferring money from Western Union, and no one would help him. I told him I would get him a manager so he can be rude to someone else. Those were my days….

If you want to keep up with my Twitter adventures then my username is @jdsamuels25. I hope you enjoyed this little Twitter post.

Until next time,

Wolfdreamer25

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How to Procrastinate instead of writing a novel!

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Novel writing is not easy by any means, and with self-publishing just about anyone can become a writer. Works can be published without any effort which isn’t good for people who actually can write a novel. It’s hard to write since it mainly requires butt to chair action, and sometimes more brain power then you have the energy for especially if you go to school, or work a day job. Good work takes time and even other people to look over it. That is another story though, and I will write a post about the entire process and how I write them. In the meantime here is how not to write a novel. Or maybe it should read doing everything but writing a novel!

  • Check email: You never know if a very important email from an editor or beta reader has come in. Just check every 5 seconds and keep hitting the refresh key constantly.
  • Check Twitter and updates status to: Writing a novel but in the mean time researching shirtless models for the next cover.
  • Eat after all you’re brain cannot work without something powering it.
  • Yell at your smartphone since a wrong number has called for the 1,000 time for someone who has a claim on them. It’s a recording too bad they cannot hear you…
  • Watch time tick by every minute while you’re waiting for calls from family or friends.
  • Check blogs after all how the hell do other writers write novels when you can’t even sit for an hour….
  • Get another cup of coffee, wine, whisky, liquor, vodka, or energy drink to get the blood flowing or to relax you need it after trying to focus on a sentence for an hour.
  • Hit head against the wall to loosen the ideas from your brain.
  • Shower maybe it will help you figure out this next sentence…
  • Check Facebook yet again to see what fun things your friends are up to, and things to use in stories…
  • Stare at the computer screen until inspiration strikes…
  • Smoke a cigarette if you do as a way of taking a break.
  • Walk the dog maybe the neighborhood can give you more ideas…
  • While walking the dog you spot a house, and spend the rest of the time wondering if they keep bodies in the basement.
  • Get one of the emails you’ve been waiting for and dance around when it says not bad just needs work. Yay! You’re not a failure.
  • Delete old files off your phone, PC, and tablet since it is a new semester and year after all.
  • Watch Youtube lets plays because video games are awesome, and who knows another story idea might pop up at any minute…

Okay, there are a lot of ways to procrastinate and not work on writing your novel. In the end the writers who stop procrastinating, and are determined to finish the novel of their dreams will learn how rewarding it is to finish something despite all the distractions stopping them.

Until next time,

Wolfdreamer25