It’s time for another post like this since I’m single now, and it sucked with the way it ended. It had to be done though, and I don’t regret it at all since it means there is someone better for me out there. Everyone goes through break ups, and if you are too then trust me it will get better! Even if the dude tries his best to send you mean comments, and be pathetic enough to put someone new in your face don’t let it bother you.
Here are my tips for survival!
Crying about it for sometime is normal since if you loved the person it’s best to let your emotions out.
Talk with friends since it helps, and they can see the bigger picture better than you. I was in a shitty relationship, and my friends helped me through it and to see things more clearly. I did the breaking up which helped me more since I was the one who ended it. He wasn’t a good fit for me, and it was hard since I loved him. But after he pushed me I had to end it to keep myself from becoming more miserable since it was the second time. He also promised he won’t do it again.
Don’t blame yourself either since it wasn’t your fault, and don’t let the person make you feel guilty especially if it wasn’t your fault.
Have a drink and enjoy yourself, and don’t overdo it either since you will regret it in the morning,
Hang out with people you haven’t seen in a while, and have fun! Kick back and relax and enjoy the fact that you can do whatever you want.
See a movie, read a book, binge watch shows on Netflix since now you have the time to have fun.
Do something creative to take your mind off things, and in my case it’s concentrate on my writing, reading books, and blogging. Even filming some Youtube videos.
Throw out or give away everything of your exes, and don’t look back. If you still have each other’s shit then get someone else to get it for you. Don’t have him come to your house.
Block him on everything since you don’t want to have him mess everything up by trying to contact you. He will try shit like he is sorry, and put notes on your car to do it, but ignore it. Hence why he should be blocked on everything.
Keep busy, and that means pick up extra hours if work allows it, and don’t dwell on it. Be so busy you don’t have time to think about it. The hours will seem slow which is why you keep busy.
Things will get better with time and never rush into a relationship either. Wait until you heal to get back into another.
Take a shower to clear your mind, take a relaxing bath, and in the end you will be better off for it. Things happen for a reason, and break ups mean a new start. Time to focus on you, and that someone better is just around the corner.
It has been a while since I blogged, and so much has happened in my life that writing took a back seat. I ended another relationship because it wasn’t working out for me at all. I was torn up about it at first, but I’m better since it was getting in the way of everything. I wasn’t writing, and when my grades started falling because of it since the stress was getting to me I had to let go. It was hard but it taught me what I really need in a relationship. Break ups teach you what you don’t want in a partner, and it can be helpful for story writing too. That is definitely one for the books. I mean really the whole summer was crazy enough as it is since one of the exes was trying to cause drama in my life since he wouldn’t let go. It’s sad really because things were going good till I realized how wrong they were for me. You never really get over it though, and it will get better as time goes on. I have been writing scenes and notes on the stories though even if I didn’t get any good work done. Everything I need it together, and I’m not changing my availability for it either. I’ll have more time to work on my stories during the summer, and I did get my first royalty check in September. I’ll be working on it more and the first ebook I am going to publish is The Killer Contract Agency. I will also try to get out another poem ebook and turn it into a paperback so it’s all a matter of time. Classes could be better, but I have time to make it up.
Until next time,
I just ended a four and a half year relationship, and it did not feel good at all. It was for the best since I had to do it for my sanity. He did not get me at all, and nothing against him but we were not compatible. On the other hand I have time to focus on school, writing, reading, and working. I have time for friends and family. I can concentrate on VCU. I don’t plan on getting back into a relationship for now since this is the second time I can experience freedom. I can enjoy life, and have fun at VCU. I can flirt with guys, and go back to my old self. I changed so much, and it was not enough. I will never change for a person again. I hated the drama too, and it caused me too much stress especially during the school year when I had a test. It got to be too much when I was fighting with him every month, and I did not want to be miserable for the rest of my life to keep someone happy. Sometimes people are just not compatible, and thank god I have friends and family helping me. I did not want to lean on people because I did not want to seem weak. I did though, and I started seeing friends and family more to help ease the pain. It worked, and working on my stories helps too. I want to turn the pain into something creative. Moving on from something fun is hard, but it is better then being miserable. I missed freedom to do whatever I wanted. I missed not having limits, and I will enjoy my freedom before getting someone. I don’t need a boyfriend in order to be happy I need me. I will find someone better, and each relationship prepares you for the next. As dark as the road can be there is always a light at the end of the journey through life.
Until next time,
They say people never marry their high school sweethearts, and sometimes that is true some people do marry them. The majority of people don’t because let’s face it people change. I always wonder why relationships don’t work out when both parties could have worked on it, and distance does not mean anything at all when there is love. I think about this as I write one of my characters, and see everything she has been through in her eyes. Sometimes things don’t work out because one decides to give up, and honestly if it does not work out with your first love then they obviously could not handle it at all. I now know what a real relationship is like, and it means having them around enjoying their company. It means fighting is healthy, and if it does not happen then something is wrong. It means working out no matter what, and no giving up when the relationship gets rough. Relationships are hard sometimes, and you have to have compromise in them. Relationships involve trust and telling the truth even when it hurts. It is like that with friends too, and it means communication. I am really happy in the relationship I am in now since we communicate, we talk, we tell each other the truth even if it hurts. We enjoy spending time with each other, and I hate being away that is one of the key elements in the second killer novel I want to put in. People always write about first loves, but maybe they should think about it the second time around too. Each relationship prepares you for the next, and learning and loving is what life is about.
What about second love?
Until next time,
I finally got over the past completely yesterday. That is a huge accomplishment for me considering I used to torture myself over what could have happened, or what I should have done when I should be moving on. I should be focusing on the now like I am going to graduate in May then go to VCU. I will have an Associates and then go to VCU to get a Bachelors in Mass Communications in Journalism. It is exciting that I am graduating after 4 years. Of course there is still the planning to be done for next year like turning in my application. I am taking an Improvisation 1, Introduction to Theater, College Algebra, and a Stress and Stress Management course. I am still working on Killer Edits, Retail edits, and then making a paperback which I want to have done by next Fall or earlier.
I have to tell people that everyone goes through heartbreak, and when it comes to their first loves it is hard to get over it at first. I just recently got over all the times I was hurt period because of friends, exboyfriends you name it. I have been in a relationship for 3 years! Let me tell you the second time is better then the first since you now know what to expect.
Here are ten tips to dealing with heartbreak:
- Admit it is over and done with.
- Curse the guy or girl just let it out nothing is worse then holding it all in.
- Chocolate believe me your body will thank you.
- Exercise by running while listening to music.
- Get rid of everything they gave you because if you don’t then feelings will remain forcing you to not get over it as quickly.
- Don’t contact them because nothing makes things worse then trying to convince them to stay with you. I did that, and it hurt more then him punching me in the gut.
- Keep busy, hang with friends, and go to the mall. It gets you out of the house and makes you realize there is more fish in the sea.
- Take your time and let yourself feel things before moving on.
- It may hurt at first when you know they are married with a kid on the way in the future, but when you have someone better then them in every way. Well, you will not really care because there is a reason why you guys did not work out.
- If the relationship did not work out then it was not meant to be, and there is someone out there better for you to be with in the future. Good things maybe right around the corner.
Until next time,