Stuff that didn’t Make The Book!

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When writing a book there are things that won’t make it in the actual book, and stuff that you thought was a good idea doesn’t seem like a good idea in the end. I cut my RetailWriter entries out of the book since it was more designed for the blog anyway. RetailHell Underground is an awesome place for retail workers to tell about mean customers and vent. A lot of people work retail, and that is why people can relate to books dealing with the public. I’ve just decided to post all my posts to my blogs instead of putting it in the Tales From Behind the Counter book. I did add my funny Retail Problems Twitter Tweets as a bonus for people since there is so many of them, and they are meant to be funny and not taken seriously…..So here are the entries and I hope you enjoy it!
RetailWriter Stories Together:
Hi, my name is RetailWriter, and I’ve been working 3 years in retail as a sales associate in Hellmart. I didn’t know what to expect at first, and it has been a wild ride since I had to learn how to let things go. The customers there can sometimes be so awful I would come home in tears like this one lady who complained about me just because of a stupid box. This is what happened I was supposed to end my shift at 9 but the boss wanted me to stay till 10. I did an 15 minutes before I was supposed to go a lady came with her friend. I asked them, “Can I help you find anything?” Her friend said, “We’ll get you when we need you.” Like I was a dog. After she is done using that slow brain of hers she picks out earrings, and they already come in a box. She asks for another one. I tell her we don’t have one. She is a smartass, and says “I know you do.” I give it to her, and then stuffing. The thing that set her off was me sliding the box across the counter instead of handing it to her. She says, “That’s rude.” And goes to the manager like the rude bitch she is, and come on it wasn’t rude to me. I saw the same bitchy customer in a parking lot, and I ignored her because it isn’t worth yelling at her even though I could. I have two days off before I work 5 days straight. For the first time they are throwing me into the battle field of Thanksgiving sales.

I hope you all enjoy my stories I will do called Hellmart Diaries since I will be detailing what it is like to be working Black Friday and Thanksgiving at Hellmart.

RetailWriter over and out!

RetailWriter here and this is the first day out of five that I will be working for Black Friday weekend. I started my shift at 2pm. As soon as I got in the door before clocking in for my shift I saw the black dividers up near the jewelry counter and HBA section for the event lines. Yay! They were already blowing up the balloons in customers service to mark where the Black Friday items are. It was interesting seeing the blue and white balloons with the name of the items.
After clocking in I make my way to jewelry to find out what is going on, and a customer asks me, “Are you an Associate?” Really dumbass? I was wearing the stupid uniform and the fucking nametag and vest proclaiming I was one. Did you take a bowl of dumbass for breakfast? Can you read? I was tired thanks to staying up till 1 am finishing a school paper that was due the next day. All I had the energy for was giving him an Are you that stupid? Kind of look. I answered his question directing him to the shirts anyway. Then later a women asks, “Where is the women’s section?” I tell her right behind her, and she says, “I see the juniors and petite. I meant the one for bigger women.” I point her in the direction of the size she was looking for and all she had to do was keep going down the sections. Lazy bitch! We have signs that tell you where everything is, and that is like the asshole asking where the jewelry and watches are when it is right in the front of the store. 3oclock hit and we had to straighten items in grocery I don’t get why since they are messed up 5 minutes later by asshole customers. In the back when I was putting away the cardboard after the straighten up thing. I see the cherry red While Supplies Last Black Friday items on a pallet wrapped up in tape. Some are filled with clothes, house ware items, and electronics. The aisles are already starting to be cleared to make room for the lines. Stands in the middle are being removed so it wont get in the way of crowds. Another guy asks me if I work at the jewelry counter. I have the case open and the keys are in it….Really? Why the fuck would I be standing there if I didn’t work there? Stupid people shop there I swear. I work thanksgiving so I’ll have more funny stories then since that is when the action starts. It wasn’t too bad customer wise only dumbasses that day. I’ll have a story for you on Day 2 and 3 when most of the action happen. I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving. Good Luck to all the people working on it!
This is RetailWriter signing off till next time.

RetailWriter here! Now it is time for the action!
My shift started at 3pm and lasted till 12am. Already when I first got there 4 cop cars are sitting in the parking lot. People have cleared the way for the lines, and the items for the sales are on the floor wrapped up till 6pm. I was nervous in a way, but more awake then the day before. They are giving out free food for the employees. Yellow tape is blocking various aisles for the line. People are already in line to get their items. The calm before the storm since not many people are shopping.
I’m in jewelry safe behind the counter and I’ve already had someone ask me where stuff is and I take a flyer to find out where the jewelry items are some watches in lingerie and some near crafts on pallet displays. Around 5:45 it got crazy and my coworker forgot to give me the keys so I was waiting for the manager to open the safe. Meanwhile, I was cleaning up a display that a customer ran into. I was cleaning it up while people were asking questions I thought it was in the case. It wasn’t but luckily they found out where the sale items are, and they were brought out. Yay! I got the keys and everything was good. It was crazy lines are all the way to apparel. Every register is open, and people are grabbing stuff left and right. I had to answer questions to people, and deal with rude assholes. A lady gave me shit about a necklace asking if it was fake, and I told her it was real since it did not say plated. Later her daughter made her apologize. It was crowded and people were being dicks when the prices came out wrong.
People were trying to cut lines and the employees wouldn’t allow it. The sales in toys was the worst with people pushing and shoving each other out of the way. They were grabbing items like it is out of style. They kept asking where the jewelry was and it was all lined in a row on one side of the counter. A lady was rude in saying, “Is there anyone there to help me?” I told her, “I work here.” Another asshole, “Do you work in jewelry?” Well no shit dipshit I’m wearing a fucking vest, nametag, and outfit… Lady on a mobile cart wanting to try on stuff and saying, “I wont waste your time.” Then she knocked over a display. Then later as I’m picking up a peg that has fallen, “Oh I didn’t do that I swear it wasn’t me.” I ignored it. Taking items to be put back to the displays a guy asks, “What do you have?” I tell him. No, I didn’t have his size. Did I have any more in the back? No’ all the items are already on the floor. What would you do if I cried because you didn’t have my size? I’d laugh.
It was crazy, busy, and too full of people. Once I got over the craziness I got used to it. The attitudes made me pissed being treated like a dog, but I got all my Black Friday shopping done. I have enough alcohol to be set for months when people piss me off enough to drink. 3 days to go!
Until the next day,
RetailWriter over and out.

RetailWriter here and its time to tell you readers about day 3. Sorry about it being posted so late, but life has been crazy for me. I did get my sales though, and I went to the ABC store since they were having a sale if you spend over $50.00 then you get ten percent off your order. Let’s just say I bought enough to last through the holidays so I’m all set!
My shift did not start until 2pm, and the excitement last night has died down today! There are still items left over from last night in the little boxes they come in. The store is still a mess as people leave shit in all the wrong places. Its not as busy as yesterday which was fucking insane. My first dick of the day. Stands there at the counter: I’m ready. He sees the other watches he missed. Oh, I’m not done looks at more stands. I’m ready. Whatever. I ring his shit up, and he leaves.
Comes back and asks, “Can you put a battery in this?”
“Only if we carry them in the store.” I tell him quoting the policy like a robot.
“Okay, it’s not one.” He leaves.
Another person whose watch I can do. I try my hardest to get the back off but the latch is hammered on too much. Did assholes watch cause it turned out his wife did get it from here. He said it as if I was a dumbass, and he was right. They all do. I straighten up shoes and have to answer more questions for lazy customers. One woman wanted to know where the fitting room was and all she had to do was walk past shoes.
Another lady: Do you work here?
Me: I think I do…
I took over phones for an hour and had to search for a fancy desk that we stopped carrying. Nothing from the AD is left. Same lady calls back twice asking for shit in the ad and we are fucking out. Line 1 for the assistant got too impatient, hung up, and said he got disconnected. Asshole router called again because he was on hold and got disconnected. The next called goes into a story I don’t care about. I told her I can transfer her to customer service. And she said, “I imagine so.” Fuck you too.
Next Caller:
“Thank you for calling _________ how may I help you?”
“Is this___?” Duh. I just said it asshole. Lady called the fitting room when she was in the store because she needed help getting items on the top shelf and two employees walked by and said they couldn’t help her. One customer asked a cashier to fold her clothes for her. Last asshole of the day. I transfer him to electronics, and they don’t answer call comes back. Is there anybody working in electronics? I told him I can check. Well, if there isn’t anybody working there then I’m not going to worry about it. He yells, and that was day 3….
This is RetailWriter over and out.

Its RetailWriter here. Finally back to my normal shifts for the weekend. The craziness died down today, and it’s a normal crazy Saturday. Nothing but straightening up since its still a mess from the past two days. I’m happy to say Day 5 is a short one. Thank god! I was on the phones for a break, and trying to find an item for a lady. She was rude though saying, “Well, can you look for it again because you don’t seem to know what you are talking about.” Thanks bitch and you’re the one who couldn’t even tell me the proper brand for that item. I really hope you suck a dick, and all I said was, “Thanks I will.” Not even bothering to be mean to her. Another woman complains about waiting for 30 minutes for someone in jewelry it was not that long. She asked about the system, and I told her they would have told me about it. They called and no one came she says. Sure, lying bitch. The customers were mainly nice except for a few people. It wasn’t too crazy either just straightening up. Nothing wild and crazy since the excitement lying down. There was a lady getting mad that I accidently hung up, and did not put her on hold. Oops! There was a lady trying to argue with me about a television in stock. Whatever. I also have super powers because when I touched a few of the watches the customers wanted me to repair they would magicaly start ticking. Interesting day! There are still some boxes left over from Black Friday still. That was my day, and I will be starting my last day of working five in a row tomorrow.
This is RetailWriter over and out.

RetailWriter here, and I’m happy to say it’s my last day of working five in a row. Thank god I’m looking forward to having the next two days off. Nothing really going on yet since its been slow. My shift started at 5:30 this time I’m only there for 4 ½ hours which is better then 8. I’ve had more good customers then bad ones. The customers today haven’t been bad at all. One lady getting a surprise present for her daughter. A customer was demanding when she said that one right there, and not even bothering to be more specific. Don’t just say that one, give me a description and a price I can’t read your mind bitch. A guy wanted to look at a watch. A customer had to direct another customer to a part of the store then said, “And I don’t even work here.” It was mainly just straightening up jewelry, shoes, and accessories. People are probably getting ready for the work day. At least they are not playing that dreaded Christmas music through the speakers. I’d rather strangle myself with my own lanyard then listen to it. I don’t celebrate Christmas either. A bunch of kids are getting a battery and the girl gives me a dirty look before getting her water. I ignore it. Told a guy that in front of jewelry is the only place we have the sunglasses. Didn’t believe me because his sunglasses were not there. Sunglasses asshole comes back to look again as if they will magically appear out of thin air, and he was at customer service to get a refund or exchange. It was overall a boring last day except for a lady that had to put an item on layaway then cancel since she didn’t have enough money.
This is RetailWriter over and out….At least until I have a good story to put together or rant about asshole customers more.


Retail Writer here, and boy do I have a few stories for you. I work and go to school which is why I’ve been absent lately. I will write down crazy stories and tell you them more though. I was with a customer for layaway and then another customer says, “When you are done with her then can you get something out of the case for me?” I nod. She leaves and then I continue helping the layaway customer. She comes back some minutes later, “Do you have anyone else that can help me?” I tell her I’ll get help and I try to get items out of the case, but the layaway chick goes “I’m a customer too.” That was the end with that. The other jewelry person is there to help her out, but she is nowhere to be found even after waiting. Finally she comes back and tells her, “I’ve been waiting for someone for 20 minutes, and no one has helped me.”

She tells her, “I’ve been here twice and you were not around.”

The customer then apologizes to the other one for being such an impatient bitch. The funny thing is she never came to get the jewelry she was bitching about.

Another situation that pissed me the fuck off was a guy came in looking for insulated overalls. He was such an asshole saying that I could look it up in the system so I was arguing with him about the code. Can’t you look it up? I need the code though. He finally does and I run to get a machine that can tell me if we have it in stock. I run into another associate that might know the answer better than me. I ask her if we have it in stock she says no because it’s a seasonal item. I tell the guy as much even as I try to load the machine so I can look it up. He says, “I can’t believe she said that it’s a seasonal item since it’s still in season now. I drove 25 miles to this store and it says they have it here online.”

The whole time he was being a douche bag, and pacing around. He even has the gall to say, “No wonder why you work at Hellmart you have bad customer service skills.” She was being nice to him too, and he was coming off as a rude dick.

Finally he leaves because the machine didn’t register, and he says, “Oh so you’re not going to help me..” He was a huge dick and it wasn’t just to me. He was rude to the customer service people too, and it was a pain dealing with him since he couldn’t understand why we did not have it in stock. He even told them he should wear a vest, and that the people who used the machines should do their jobs better. It was a long day dealing with assholes, and I’m sure I’ll have more asshole stories for you guys in the future.

Until next time,

RetailWriter over and out.

RetailWriter Stories Re-edited….

RetailWriter here, and it has been a while since I have posted here. Below is a collection of some of my entires from a journal of mine. Sorry if it’s whiny with profanity but this is a place to rant about retail. I’m an author, and there for should have proofread before I posted so here is the edited version in the correct timeline….
I’ve been reading through all my old work journals since I bring small notebooks to write down everything that has happened to me at work. I noticed that the customers talk to us like we are stupid. They think we can magically pull a product out of our ass for them if we run out. They also think that just because we work there that we know every product in the entire store, and that we work everywhere. Meanwhile, we get pulled to the front if there are not enough cashiers and we have to work several different departments and run ragged. I have done jewelry, fitting room, shoes, and phones too. Is it any wonder why working retail just sucks ass. Oh, I love the dealing with the nice customers and putting up stock. But dealing with the mean customers just makes me want to drink especially when they yell at us over things we can’t control. Half the time they yell at us over things that we can’t control. We don’t order the products that come through our store we just put them up. We also don’t know when they come in due to it being out of our control.
I was the only one to cover apparel, shoes, the fitting room, jewelry, phones and accessories till 12 it was hard since there were a lot of questions I had to answer. It was only me in my area to do several different departments which means I had to constantly watch the counter, watch the phones and fitting room. Then to top it all off some asshole goes behind the counter. Said he was looking for a tool behind the counter, and I told him he could have called someone, and then said he was looking for a buzzer. What is wrong with people you can’t just ask?To top it all off the front end has crazy lines all the way to softness due to not having enough people, but the manager did say there is no one in our area to help out.
This morning was bullshit because I was put on the register since no one was at register 20 which is the smokeshop. What made it worse is I had a huge migraine. It was first thing in the morning, and I’m not a morning person enough as it is. It’s bullshit that I had to be on it for so long since I’m a sales associate. She said it would be an hour. I was on the register an hour and a half. I know they need help, but they could have put other people on the register besides me. There are people standing around and they could have sent one of the ones on it instead.
My last hour sucked dick so let me tell you what happened before I forget. This lady asked if we had anymore clear pink backpacks because it says we have it online at the store. I look for it and I told her we sold out of it. Then she said but it says you have it in the store. And she traveled far to get it, and I say fuck it and ask my coworkers if they have seen it. They say no, and I grab the telexon to see if we have any left. I know we don’t because I have not seen any, and the last time I did it was a few months ago. Meanwhile we get the managers to look in the steel to see if we have it because we have cleaned them all out so there might be one. Even the managers can’t find it. They looked too and could not find it either. I told her and all she said was I drove all the way for nothing. I’m sorry but sometimes the system says we have it when really we don’t because of the counts are not entered properly, or the managers put it away somewhere. It’s not my fault, and she did not have to treat me like that….
Customers have been such little assholes to me. There was the woman who was a bitch to me when I could not get her watch back on.
“Well you got it off shouldn’t you be able to get it on.” She replied.
“I told you that I couldn’t get it on.”
She got mad, but I tried one last time, and luckily it went on that time.
Next was a lady who wanted me to check every single fucking item then said can’t you check me out here? Sure, whatever. I do it, and I was happy when I got off.
Today was shit first comes the customer who smells like shit. Not only is he breathing all over me, he stinks. I was trying to get the watch back off, and I told him I could not do it. He said this must not be your department if you can’t get the watch back off. I told him it is my department, and what I wanted to say was suck a dick. The shithead tried to get it off like he could do any better he can’t. Then a lady that asked about flip flops and I told her we ran out. The bitch freaked what do you mean you ran out? We ran out a long time ago, and we are already in the next season. Bear in mind there were actually some in men she did not want to pay a lot of money for it. Fuck you too not my fault, and she was a bitch practically screaming at me about it. Then just as I’m about ready to leave an old bitch wanted to know if the necklaces come together or separate. They are separate for $48.00, and on the same display. According to her it’s misleading, no it’s not they are the same price, and no we don’t have the bracelet. We did have it at one point, but it got sold. Do you know when it will come in? No, because I don’t have any control over it, and they don’t tell me when it will. I really want a bracelet. I got that, but I can’t pull it out of my ass for you just because you want it.
I’ve dealt with some live ones lately, and because it’s going to be the holidays I will post more about it…
Until next time,

I’ve hoped you enjoy these entries, and if you work retail I’m sure you can relate to it.

Until next time,

Wolfdreamer25 AKA RetailWriter!

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